Desperate? Housewife? Not our Helen. But there is a little issue about a certain pint-sized Loreal spokes(maudlin) and television "superstar" who takes breaks in between lingerie fittings and complicated dialogue like "I only slept with you to get pregnant, my husband doesn't have to know!" to pitch, you guessed it, consumer products. Uf. OMG - she has caramel highlights! She found a foundation to match her skin! She has a signature lipstick shade! She can contort her spine to show off Bebe bike shorts to their best advantage! She has to wear 8 1/2 inch heels to even try to save her NBA hubby from folding himself in half like Gumby to kiss her! She's. Just. So. Cute.[cue steam escaping]
I'm sure she has lovely and substantive qualities...but honestly, Ms. Longoria Parker - how much LONGoria will the world cite you as the sexiest/best dressed/most beautiful/longest lashes/biggest lingerie collection/most likely to make men swoon?
As for the authors of this blog, we look to Helen and ponder how ELP will look at 62. Will Bebe come a'calling? Will Loreal make you the spokesmodel for "going gray with grace"? Doubtful. Besides, there's already one leading lady we admire for personifying complicated, dynamic, and REAL - our mascot Queen Helen. In fact, her signature lipstick shade is "kiss my ass, young Hollywood" and it's all over a little golden man named Oscar.
Now kiss the royal ring.
5 comments:
Ha..ha...cannot stop laughing. Such a brilliant idea - this blog and what a duo to start it. Btw ladies - I now have a personal trainer - so Ms. Eva better watch out! ;)
Also, is there a free drink for the first one to comment on the blog? You can tell its been a while ladies - we need to get together soon.
Damn right, Vive Helen! She is the greatest!!
Seriously, I love this blog, it is ace, I would love to contribute.
Count me in! I think the 'real' cocktail party sound fabulous too!
Vive Helen!
This is a wonderful blog. You ladies rock; in the hippest way possible.
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