When 'No' Means 'Yes'

Ok. If the title of this entry leads you to somehow think that Lifetime network has gotten its smarmy clutches on our dear Vive Helen blog, I assure you, no. This is a story - nay - a tribute to making tough decisions in life, and about one lovely friend in particular who, I feel, found a victory in saying 'no' to something she really wanted.

I'll keep details brisk, save this: she is a tremendously talented and energetic woman. I admire her greatly. And, despite the usual negative demeanor of the word 'no,' this is how a negative can become a positive.

We Gen X'er (or what have you) women are fortunate to have been raised in a time when we could say yes or no to anything. We were empowered to think and feel without guilt. But, there still remains a light patina of our mother's upbringing that washes over us at times - that little 'impropriety' bug, the thing that makes us question our choices, or feel inadequate if we "can't accomplish it all."

This lovely friend of mine found her way through that old-fashioned guilt and the trappings of all that to make a very tough choice to walk away from an opportunity that she really wanted - and indeed was granted. Her reasons are just, if heartbreaking, but through the lines of text in her disclosure of said decision, I felt an incredible amount of pride for her. She has long identified her desire/reputation to be all things to all people, even at her own sacrifice. And while some may venture that her turning down this opportunity qualifies as "her own sacrifice," I would challenge with "she weighed her options, and by saying no here, she was saying yes to herself - her health, her family, her quality of life."

I hope the pride gush here is obvious, because I've been thinking about this since she told me yesterday, and can find nothing but admiration for her choice. She knows who she is, and I wanted to take this oh-so-appropriate forum to let her know how I felt. XOXO